


you oughta know by now

by ninetwothrees



Series: and not one drama major among us [3]
Category: A Pink (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 09:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5703238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninetwothrees/pseuds/ninetwothrees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eunji and Hayoung are inseparable, Chorong and Bomi make heart eyes at each other all day every day, but Namjoo can personally attest that her and her Rapunzel-haired pseudo-emo best friend chart the highest as far as the coffee shop relationships go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you oughta know by now

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: sex toys talk, alcohol use, crack, unbeta'd
> 
> another one-shot/standalone from [this 'verse](http://archiveofourown.org/series/385294).
> 
> tbh this one...... went downhill lol i'm labeling it crack bc it's extremely ridiculous and self-indulgent. i apologize. ^^; hopefully i'll return with more apink fics, whether from this 'verse or otherwise, and with somewhat less crack. thank you for reading <3
> 
> the title is from [_nothing's gonna change my love for you_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr97MQiqW38) by george benson

“You’re going down! Boom, smash, pow! This is your end, dimpled demon!”

Namjoo glances around the PC room, not daring to meet any eyes and mouthing a “sorry” to no one in particular, and of course, in the second of distraction Naeun’s avatar delivers the final blow and Namjoo’s character drops to the ground with the dreaded K.O. verdict on the screen.

It does occur to her, with conscientious frequency, that playing fighting games at midnight in the university PC room that never closes (for the simple reason that it’s filled with diligent students any hour of the day) wasn’t one of their most brilliant ideas. Namjoo is a creature of habit, though, and their ritual from their middle and high school days spent in the nearest PC bang naturally continued into their university days, just with fewer angry gamers around. Namjoo feels only a little apologetic.

“Dimpled demon?” she says, amused, on their way to the dorm, and simultaneously tries to recall her bank account balance that will suffer in a few moments when she’s morally bound to order chicken as a declaration of defeat.

Naeun shrugs. “Aren’t you one?” It’s a windy night and her long hair is blowing around, Namjoo walking a few steps behind to admire the phenomenon her hair will never achieve. When they were in primary school, they sat in front of the mirror in Namjoo’s parents' apartment and Naeun would lower her head above Namjoo’s, her hair falling around Namjoo’s frame, so Namjoo could see what she would look like if endowed with her gift. “Ugh, I really want to cut it short.”

It takes Namjoo a while to realize that Naeun is following the same topic her brain was occupied with and she catches up with her, clinging to her arm. “Don’t you dare.”

“But it’s annoying.” As if to prove her point, a strand of Naeun’s hair flicks Namjoo in the face before the wind changes its direction again.

“But it belongs to you,” Namjoo argues. “It’s part of your dark emo-wannabe outcast image.”

Naeun lets out an incoherent whine, and Namjoo giggles into her shoulder. She loves the petulant child side to Naeun, a side as essential as the rest but rarely shown to the world.

“Sweet, soy, or spicy?” Namjoo pushes the door to the dorm building open and fishes in her pockets for her phone where the chicken place has the privileged number one spot on her speed-dial. She turns around when Naeun remains quiet and is met with a pout.

“I can’t decide,” Naeun says pathetically and Namjoo laughs fully now, making a frisky decision to go with one of each. She’ll just have to work harder to beat Naeun next time and spare no guilt on their fellow students.

 

Namjoo and Naeun almost never fight, and when they do it’s, depending on your point of view, gravely serious (Namjoo swears) or absolutely ridiculous (shut up, everyone else). By the nature of the fights it’s also pretty much impossible to predict and prevent their occurrence.

It’s their usual end-of-the-school-week celebration over wine in Naeun’s room - right opposite Namjoo’s, they rotate - and their friendship has never been one with much filtering so Namjoo feels free to voice the issue weighing on her mind. “I’m sad. I need to get laid.”

Naeun stops staring into the ceiling from where she’s lying on the floor and glances at her. “Because you’re sad? That’s not healthy.”

“No, I’m sad _because_ I’m not getting laid,” Namjoo clarifies. “It’s been too long, I don’t know how long. And don’t be a cliche and reply with the exact count, I beg of you.”

It’s not that she lives in delusion of thinking Naeun cares about her sex life enough to keep a count (in reality she’s rather bored by the topic whenever it comes up) but she's a Math major; it’s probably stored somewhere in her brain running on mathematical autopilot.

“School sucks, dating is a hustle, I just need to hit bars or whatever people do instead of just sitting here doing nothing.”

“Isn’t the vibrator I gave you enough?”

“That old thing?” Also known as Naeun’s gift to Namjoo for high school graduation last year. Namjoo takes a sip. “No, sir.”

She doesn’t realize that’s the wrong answer (didn’t realize there _could_ be a wrong answer to a question like that) until Naeun sits up, aims a death glare at her, and leaves. In fact, Namjoo’s tipsy mind still isn't really following.

She finishes her glass with little rush, and it’s then when it dawns on her Naeun stormed out of her own room. She stumbles across the hallway to get her phone and call her but finds the door locked. “Naeun? Unnie? Nunnie?”

After getting no answer she crashes back in Naeun’s room. She can figure out what the hell just happened tomorrow.

 

Tomorrow comes and the inevitable conclusion Namjoo is now better equipped to make is that Naeun is avoiding her. She discovered her room open and empty in the late morning she got up from the floor she fell asleep on, and when she comes back from the cafeteria, Naeun seemed to have returned to her lair, the door equally unwelcoming as hers was last night.

Namjoo mopes around in the hallway for a bit, hoping Naeun will appear, but realistically speaking, she's known her for 10 years and the odds aren't in her favor - Naeun is simply too stubborn. Reality wins over hope and she finds herself unable to bear the gravely serious situation by herself so she heads to the coffee shop. Naeun recently changed her shift schedule to make weekends "free of the dramatic coffee bunch" so Namjoo wasn't planning on going either, but given the circumstances, she can employ one of the many heads she's sure to find there for help.

She spots the now-blond locks of the only other customer of their incidental friend group, the newest addition under the name of Yoon Bomi. She pulls her away from distracting Chorong from her work (Eunji should be thanking her) to her favorite spot by the window in safe distance from Oh Hayoung’s ears.

“You and Naeun are friends?” Bomi asks, amazed, before Namjoo can even properly recount yesterday’s events.

Namjoo doesn’t remark on how daft everyone seems to be around here; she needs Bomi on her good side. “Yes, friends, had a fight, need advice,” she repeats the basics in case it’s necessary for Bomi’s comprehension.

Bomi gestures for her to go on.

“Okay, well. We were drinking and I was talking about how it’s been a while since… I had a release. You know.” She waits for Bomi to nod. “And she asked if I wasn’t happy with the… release device? you know? that she gave me.”

Bomi’s concentrated face now frowns in confusion. “Wait, a toilet?”

“What? No!” Namjoo counts to five and struggles for clearer terms. “Not that release. A... sexy release.”

“ _Oh._ ” Bomi nods again.

“And I said no and she got mad,” Namjoo finishes flatly. It’s not the most exciting story in the world, she admits.

“She just got mad?” Bomi says after a pause. “Why?”

“That, my dear unnie,” Namjoo drags out the pronunciation to hide her impatience, “is what I need you to help me figure out.”

They go over the details a few more times, Bomi questioning her for things she might have missed in her story, including, in Namjoo's opinion, irrelevant information that Bomi insists could be crucial to the solution.

("The device, was it like a...?" Bomi forms a phallic shape with her hands.

"No, more like a..." Namjoo takes out her lipstick and turns on the vibration in the settings of her phone.)

Namjoo rejects a few nonsensical theories Bomi proposes, until Bomi hits her forehead.

“Ah! Ah, Namjoo,” she says in an increasingly condescending tone, but Namjoo lets her because she’s desperate, and Bomi always brags about the one semester she spent as a Psychology major before she found her true calling in hairdressing so it's as close to an expert as Namjoo can get. “Naeun is _clearly_ insecure. You basically said hanging out with her is a waste of your time. Obviously you didn’t mean it like that but that’s what Naeun heard. She’s afraid of losing you to your conquests!”

Namjoo’s eyes fill up with tears.

 

“Unnie!” Namjoo frantically knocks on Naeun’s door through her sobbing. “Unnie!”

The hallway is far from empty but she's too devastated to care about any witnesses to her crying. It's Naeun who looks embarrassed on her behalf when she peeks out and ushers her inside.

“Unnie,” Namjoo manages to say, though her weeping doesn’t stop, “I love you so much, I would never leave you. Even if I get it on with someone, you’ll always be my best friend.”

A silence spreads, only interrupted by more crying noises Namjoo’s doing her best to hold in. She forces herself to looks straight into Naeun’s stone face, and finally, she hears her voice for the first time that day, and it’s a simple “What?”

“The vibrator is the best gift I’ve ever gotten. No, _you’re_ the best gift and you don’t ever have to be scared of losing me.”

“I’m... not?” Naeun says with a most bemused expression. “It’s just that I spent half my allowance on it and made sure to get the best one and now you sound like you don’t even care.”

Namjoo’s tears stream anew. “ _I care._ "

Naeun lets her crush her in a hug even through her fervent protests of “I know” and “it’s fine.”

 

“Why are you doing this to me?” Namjoo shrieks for the fourth time in a matter of five minutes. Naeun was ready, pressing palms further against her ears.

“Let's just get this over with.”

“Why me?” Namjoo grips Naeun’s shoulders. “Why put your life in my hands?”

“For the record, I do also expect you to pull the plug on me if my immortality goals don't work out.”

“This is _worse_.”

“I don't like your priorities," Naeun says coolly. “Now, chop chop.”

And so Namjoo chops, running the scissors through Naeun’s hair and screaming her lungs out. She falls quiet and stares in shock as the first strands hit the floor.

“Good job." Naeun is somehow still not panicking. "You know, I would've been able to afford a real hairdresser if _someone_ hadn't, in their words, ‘owned my ass’ the whole month and made me spent my entire budget on chicken.”

Namjoo can hardly hear but slowly the words sink in and she drops on Naeun from behind the chair she's sitting on. “Bomi.”

Naeun lolls her head as far to the back as she can to get a look at her. “Did I break you by making you did this?”

“Yoon Bomi, our friend Bomi unnie,” Namjoo whimpers, “our friend studying to be a professional hairdresser Yoon Bomi unnie.”

Naeun lets out a single vowel of the realization coming down on her as well. “It's gonna be okay?”

Over the course of an hour, misery finds its company in anger and Namjoo doesn't speak to Naeun for the rest of the day.

 

 _**Hayoungie** _ _to_ _**Eunji unnie** _

_16:32_

_bomi unnie’s getting a sex toy for chorong unnie’s bday??_

 

 _**unnie’s boss-nim** _ _to_ _**Pingu** _

_16:40_

_hayoung thinks ur getting chorong a sex toy for her bday_

 

 _**Pingu** _ _to_ _**unnie’s boss-nim** _

_16:41_

_????_

 

 _**unnie’s boss-nim** _ _to_ _**Pingu** _

_16:41_

_so chorong probably thinks ur getting her a sex toy for her bday. tysk._

 

 _**Bomzilla** _ _to_ _**lazy girl-nim** _

_16:42_

_UNNIE THINKS IM GETTING HER A SEX ITO FOR HER BSIDAY_

 

 _**Bomzilla** _ _to_ _**lazy girl-nim** _

_16:43_

_*toy_

 

 _**Bomzilla** _ _to_ _**lazy girl-nim** _

_16:46_

_-_-_

 

 _**lazy girl-nim** _ _to_ _**Bomzilla** _

_16:50_

_ㅋ_

 

 _**Dimple** _ _to_ _**Hairy (rip)** _

_16:59_

_pls text bomi unnie sex toy tips for rong unnie_

 

 _**unnie <3 ** _ _to_ _**bbom** _

_18:49_

_bbom, i heard stuff ;;; i’m sorry i don’t think i want a sex toy i needed to say something before u spend money, pls don’t be mad i rly appreciate the thought_ _ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ_

 

 _**unnie <3 ** _ _to_ _**bbom** _

_18:54_

_i mean, i'm satisfied already_ _ㅋㅋ_

 

 _**Yoon Bomi** _ _to_ _**unnie’s boss-nim**_ _,_ _**emo-nim**_ _,_ _**lazy girl-nim**_ _,_ _**kid-nim** _

_18:58_

_anyone wants to buy a sex toy, prise negotiable_

 

 _**Yoon Bomi:** _ _[4 new messages]_

_18:59_

_prise?_

_*prize_

_priCe_

_*price_


End file.
